Tag: money

Girlfriends, expensive Brooklyn

Friends Prepared To Discuss How Expensive New York Has Gotten

BROOKLYN, NY — When long-time friends Tash and Viola meet for food and drinks tonight at a Williamsburg gastropub, the pair will undoubtedly catch up on everything they’ve been up to lately as well as thoroughly discuss the rising cost of living in New York City. Since the two last saw each other four months ago, Tash moved in with her girlfriend, got engaged and took particular notice of the climbing prices for riding the subway, bottomless mimosas and naan bread. Meanwhile, Viola got a promotion at work, joined a new gym and expressed dismay over how much more expensive infinity sign tattoos, scented candles and portobello mushrooms have become. At the restaurant, unnervingly awaiting delivery of the bill for what is sure to be a costly meal, both women stated that it’d be nice to one day own a place instead of paying monthly through the nose for less than desirable conditions and an absurdly small living space. “It’d be optimal to one day have a yard, and maybe even a garage,” Tash said, wincing at the check. “Or at least a toilet that isn’t located in the kitchen, and hummus that’s less than $9.” Motioning to also see the bill, Viola questioned the $70 tab. “All we had was one meal and a drink each, right?”

Max Rosenblum is a comedian and writer based out of Los Angeles. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @mrmaxrose.

online donations

After Donating To Every Friend And Acquaintance Facing Hard Times, Man Crowdfunds To Avoid Bankruptcy

NEWPORT, RHODE ISLAND — A man who’s been called “the nicest guy you’ll meet this fiscal year” is currently in serious financial trouble after donating small amounts of money to  hundreds of people in his social media network dealing with personal tragedies, financial mishaps, mental breakdowns or just general difficult circumstances of some kind or another. Now that man, 27-year-old Zac Gallagher, has been forced to launch his own crowdfunding campaign to avoid homelessness and financial obsoletism. “I’m not a wealthy guy, but I’ve always had the means to support myself,” Gallagher said as he reviewed his crowdfunding profile surrounded by stacks of unpaid bills marked DELINQUENT. “As a result, I’ve always made it a priority to help others when they’re need.” Gallagher stated that he was personally moved after reading one heartbreaking account after another from people he knows, people who know people he knows, or people who at one point or another met someone he knows, all of which compelled him to offer anything he could. Nearly 450 donations later, Gallagher finds himself 8 days away from officially losing everything and hopes he can raise $10,000 to get back on his feet. “I know times are hard for people right now, so I can’t expect everyone to give,” Gallagher said. “I hope people can help, but there’s so much you can ask. Oh look, my cousin’s friend from high school had her backpack stolen. I can give her a few bucks.”

Max Rosenblum is a comedian and writer based out of Los Angeles. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @mrmaxrose.