Tag: MLB

little league homerun

Local Man Psyched After Smashing Friend’s Lob Pitch Over Little League Field Fence

BRONX, NY — Thirty-two year-old Brian Scutaro is absolutely pumped after launching a replica major league baseball over the left field wall at a local youth baseball field earlier this afternoon. Scutaro’s deep fly came off his friend Lyle Pinter’s mild, laid back pitch right down the center of the plate. “I thought L.P. was going to come in on me, you know, try to drive me off the plate,” Scutaro said, “but he just left a pitch right out over the dish. I was able to connect and take one deep.” Scutaro’s round tripper is his first since he and his buddies started meeting up on Saturdays on the diamond to take batting practice seven months ago. “You know, over the course of the spring, and the summer, and the fall, I’ve seen a lot of great pitches, but I could never connect,” Scutaro said. “I was looking to come out of my power slump and I crushed a tater. I just hit a bomb and left the yard. A real moonshot. It felt good going around the bases to touch them all,” he said with a wink and suggestive hand motion toward the female reporter.

Max Rosenblum is a comedian and writer based out of Los Angeles. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @mrmaxrose.

Cubs baby

Inspiring: Chicago newborn will be 107 when Cubs next win World Series

BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENT

At 7:08 p.m. on Monday, August 28th, Chicago area residents Joel and Liza Greenwald welcomed their newborn son Sammy Arrieta Greenwald into the world, weighing 8 pounds, 7 ounces. Wriggling baby Sammy into his first Chicago Cubs onesie early Tuesday, dad reported that both mom and the baby are doing well. “We’re just over the moon in the love with him,” Joel said before expressing a sliver of sorrow. “It’s all very emotional… We’re so elated, yet we know that we won’t be around to see him celebrate the next Cubs World Series in 2124.”

Max Rosenblum is a comedian and writer based out of Los Angeles. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @mrmaxrose.