BRONX, NY — Thirty-two year-old Brian Scutaro is absolutely pumped after launching a replica major league baseball over the left field wall at a local youth baseball field earlier this afternoon. Scutaro’s deep fly came off his friend Lyle Pinter’s mild, laid back pitch right down the center of the plate. “I thought L.P. was going to come in on me, you know, try to drive me off the plate,” Scutaro said, “but he just left a pitch right out over the dish. I was able to connect and take one deep.” Scutaro’s round tripper is his first since he and his buddies started meeting up on Saturdays on the diamond to take batting practice seven months ago. “You know, over the course of the spring, and the summer, and the fall, I’ve seen a lot of great pitches, but I could never connect,” Scutaro said. “I was looking to come out of my power slump and I crushed a tater. I just hit a bomb and left the yard. A real moonshot. It felt good going around the bases to touch them all,” he said with a wink and suggestive hand motion toward the female reporter.
Max Rosenblum is a comedian and writer based out of Los Angeles. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @mrmaxrose.