Woman afraid of spider

Strong, Independent Woman Desperate for Someone to Come Kill this Spider

WICHITA, KS — Less than a day after taking to Instagram to tout her power as an independent female, self-proclaimed activist-influencer Alison Harmon spent over an hour and 45 minutes pacing her apartment in a deep panic over a house spider lurking on the kitchen counter. “Women are the future, and there is NOTHING we can’t do #ImStillWithHer,” the post read along with an empowering bikini photo. “Most people know me as an extremely strong and independent woman, because I regularly remind them of this fact,” Harmon said while checking her pulse on her smartwatch. “But in that moment, I just couldn’t even deal. Gross.”

After failing to reach both of her roommates multiple times by phone call and text, Harmon spent close to an hour on the phone with a 9-1-1 operator before the authorities — in the form of next-door neighbor Erik — arrived to vanquish the eight-legged creepy crawler. “I got home, and I just heard a bunch of screams,” Erik said. “I thought [Alison] was getting murdered. As it turned out, it was much, much worse. I applaud her strength during this harrowing experience.”