North Hempstead, NY — Thirty-seven days after being accidentally separated from its opposite hand counterpart, an unmatched left glove remains apprehensive about whether it will ever reunite with its partner. Sources are reporting that the pair split when the plastic ring connecting the two unexpectedly cracked, causing just the one garment to fall to the floor of a shopping mall. The separated glove has since taken up residence in the Lost and Found bin near the food court.
“The two of us, we went through everything together,” left glove said, laying vapidly amongst a pile of various other missing items. “We packed snowballs, built snowmen and gripped ice scrapers. But most importantly, we kept hands warm. We were the ultimate duo; we were practically attached at the wrist, if you know what I mean.” While the detached glove has made several new friends in the Lost and Found, including a cashmere scarf, digital watch, and prescription medication bottle reading “Fatal if not taken daily,” it expressed severe anguish at the prospect that it will never again be able to experience solid smacking together of each’s leather exterior.
“I think the important lesson from this is to not take those closest in your life for granted,” left glove said while choking up. “The most difficult part is I never got to say goodbye. I didn’t even get a simple wave.” At the time of publication, the companionless glove was suffering withdrawals without its match but remains hopeful that it’ll once again see its right-hand man.
Max Rosenblum is a comedian and writer based out of Los Angeles. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @mrmaxrose.